8 stratégies pour apprendre à dire non!

Est-ce que vous aussi vous avez souvent tendance à dire oui aux autres, même lorsque cela signifie sacrifier votre propre bien-être? Alors cet article est fait pour vous!

 

Il n’est pas toujours évident de savoir dire non aux autres, à ses enfants, son conjoint, ses collègues…La culpabilité, la peur de passer pour une personne égoïste, ou encore de manquer à son devoir prennent souvent le pas au moment de dire ces fameuses trois lettres : N-O-N.

 

Alors pour toutes celles qui ont du mal à poser leurs limites et à s’affirmer, voici 8 stratégies pour vous aider à changer!

Pourquoi je n'arrive pas à dire non ?

Avant de vous donner mes conseils, prenons un peu de recul sur la situation…

Il peut exister de nombreux freins internes qui se cachent derrière le fait de ne pas savoir dire non. Peut-être vous reconnaîtrez-vous dans l’un d’eux:

  • Peur du rejet et de la déception : Parfois, certaines femmes craignent que dire non ne les fasse paraître égoïstes ou désintéressées des besoins des autres. Elles peuvent craindre que refuser une demande entraîne le rejet ou la déception de la personne demandant de l’aide.

  • Culpabilité et obligation : Le sentiment de culpabilité est souvent lié au fait de dire non. Peut-être vous sentez-vous coupable de ne pas répondre aux attentes des autres ou de ne pas être à la hauteur de vos propres attentes? 

  • Manque de confiance en soi : Un manque de confiance en ses propres capacités ou en sa propre valeur peut conduire à accepter des demandes même lorsque cela n’est pas bénéfique pour soi. Cela peut aller jusqu’à renier sa propre importance et ne plus se donner de place dans le quotidien. 

  • Peur de l’isolement ou de l’abandon : Dire non peut aussi être associé à la peur de perdre des relations ou de se retrouver isolée, que ce soit de sa famille, de ses amis ou dans le milieu professionnel. 

  • Habitudes et modèles de comportement : si vous avez été habituée à répondre toujours « oui » aux demandes des autres, cela peut devenir une habitude difficile à briser. C’est ce qu’on appelle le syndrome de la bonne élève! Vouloir plaire à tout prix aux autres jusqu’à en renier ses propres besoins. 

Prendre conscience de ces freins est déjà un premier pas vers le changement!

www.cespetitsriens deco.fr 14

8 stratégies pour apprendre à dire non

1. Définir ses priorités

Avant de répondre à une demande, demandez-vous si cela correspond à vos priorités. Et pour cela, il est essentiel de bien avoir défini vos valeurs et vos besoins en amont.

Définir vos priorité vous demande d’être au clair avec ce qui est réellement important pour vous dans la vie. S’agit-il d’accorder du temps à vos enfants? De préserver votre énergie? De vous épanouir dans une nouvelle activité? De développer votre confiance en vous?

Vous pourrez ainsi avoir en tête une liste de choses pour lesquelles vous êtes prête à engager votre temps et votre énergie. Si ce qu’on vous demande ne rentre pas dans cette liste, vous avez le droit de décliner!

 

 

2. Utiliser une autre formulation

Voici une technique toute simple mais qui a fait ses preuves!

Parfois, nos freins internes sont si présents et si importants que nous sommes dans l’incapacité totale à dire non…

Si le « non » direct vous semble trop brutal, essayez des phrases comme « Je ne suis pas disponible en ce moment » ou « J’ai déjà un engagement. »

 

Voilà une bonne façon de tromper votre mental récalcitrant : c’est toujours un non, mais en douceur! 

 

 

3. Prendre une pause avant de répondre

Ne vous sentez pas obligée de répondre immédiatement. Prenez un moment pour réfléchir.

Par exemple, un « Je vais y penser et je reviens vers toi» vous donne le temps de considérer si vous voulez vraiment dire oui ou si cela met en péril votre propre équilibre.

Et si votre interlocuteur a du mal à accepter une réponse différée, laissez-le gérer sa frustration!

 

 

4. Proposer des alternatives

Si vous vous sentez mal à l’aise de refuser une demande, offrez une alternative qui vous convient mieux et qui sera plus en accord avec vos priorités du moment.

 

Par exemple, « Je ne peux pas t’aider à déménager ce week-end, mais je peux t’aider à faire des cartons jeudi soir. »

Cela montre que vous êtes toujours disposée à aider (et donc que vous ne risquez pas de passer pour quelqu’un d’égoïste 😉), mais dans les limites de ce que vous pouvez faire.

Ainsi, vous respectez vos besoins et tout l’équilibre est préservé!

 

 

5. S’entraîner avec des petites choses

Commencez par dire non à de petites demandes.

Cela renforcera votre confiance pour les situations plus importantes!

Par exemple, refuser un café avec un collègue sera toujours plus facile que de dire « non » à votre meilleure amie qui vous demande de garder son fils pour tout le week-end!

 

Choisissez des petites situations qui vous impliquent peu affectivement, avec des personnes dont vous vous sentez moins proches (l’idéal est de pratiquer avec des inconnus!).

Votre culpabilité sera moins tentée de vous rattraper vis à vis de personnes dont vous êtes plus détachée.

 

6. S’aider des affirmations positives

Renforcez votre capacité à dire non en vous aidant des affirmations positives.

Par exemple, « Je mérite de respecter mes propres besoins » ou « Dire non me permet de préserver mon énergie et mon bien-être. »

 

Les affirmations sont un outil puissant qui aide à recâbler le cerveau. Elles permettent d’ancrer la conviction que dire non est parfaitement acceptable et même nécessaire.

Je les utilise systématiquement dans les séances EFT lors de mes accompagnements individuels!

 

7. Célébrer vos victoires

Chaque fois que vous dites non sans culpabilité, célébrez-le 🎉!

Félicitez-vous de cette victoire sur vous même, prenez conscience de cette nouvelle force que vous développez chaque jour. Ressentez les émotions qu’elle fait naître en vous!

 

Tenir un carnet des victoires peut être une merveilleuse façon de renforcer votre confiance en vous. Vous pourrez y noter toutes les choses positives que vous accomplissez au quotidien, vos petites comme vos grandes victoires sur vous-mêmes et sur les autres.

Et chaque fois que vous aurez un coup de mou, reprenez votre carnet et prenez conscience du chemin parcouru. Vous vous sentirez reboostée instantanément!✨

 

 

 

8. Rappelez-vous que vous n’êtes pas égoïste

Prendre soin de vous n’est pas égoïste, c’est essentiel!

Non seulement pour vous : pour préserver votre santé, votre énergie et votre équilibre de vie.

Mais aussi vis à vis des autres : plus vous serez épanouie et reposée, et plus vous pourrez donner aux autres.

C’est un cercle vertueux !

apprendre à dire non sans culpabilité

Un dernier conseil pour finir...

Souvenez-vous que « non, je ne peux pas » est une phrase complète en soi. Ne soyez pas « désolée », et ne vous sentez pas obligée de toujours justifier ce non par mille arguments!

 

Le mot NON à lui seul suffit à répondre aux demandes de votre entourage, à eux de comprendre et de respecter ce message!😉

 

Vous n’êtes pas d’accord?

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